Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I had this WHOLE pithy post about the Tower card, and I was blogging on my laptop and I lost the wireless connection, and lost my post. Ummm, one more time let me say how much I dislike Verizon. Anyway, here we go again...

The Night before last I woke to a feeling there were lights going off... but I looked, and waited, there was nothing, so I closed my eyes and cozied up to Dan... And lights, again. I finally shook off the sleep, and checked out my world- it was a light show! The storm hadn't started yet, and but the warm up was mighty.

The Tower card shows up with a storm, but there's not always much warning. It comes crashing into our lives, leaving upheaval in its wake. With the Tower card overtakes you, ready or not, here it comes, in your face. It brings conflict and chaos, it shatters long-held beliefs and understandings, it leaves you no choice but to deal with it. Revelations and Epiphanies happen, some pleasant and some un. The Tower IS falling, all you can do is try to clean up.

Now, the good thing about this card? After the smoke clears, and things settle down, you can stand back and look at the changes, at the chaos, they may not have been easy, but they are often for the best.

That is, if you deal with the reality. The Tower in reverse is seeing the falling walls of the Tower all around you and ignoring it, trying to avoid making changes because change is scary and sometimes pain, or discomfort is better than stepping into the unknown. The Tower in reverse is just spinning your wheels. Or crying. I have a friend and crying is how she handles the Tower. Crying is her acknowledgment, her answer. It saves her from having to deal with the realities, it becomes an activity in itself, not a reaction.

And hey, don't get me wrong. When in pain, cry it out. recently when some foundation friendships that I thought were forever, proved otherwise. I was terribly hurt, blindsided, kinda staggering. I sobbbbbbbed But then, I dried my eyes and started cleaning up the disruption in my life, like cleaning up after the storm. Now, rebuilding. For me it was building up my self-esteem, bolstering old friendships, and reconnecting to my family. I was forced to take on some changes, ready or not.

But, here's the really cool part about the Tower, which is hard to remember when you are in the trenches facing the fallout, the changes wrought often turn out to be blessings in the long run. In hindisght: Relationship were unhealthy and better ended, or people who felt trapped are set free, new ways of living prove to be better, or more fulfilling, a lost job opens a door to a better opportunity, Revelations are set free! I am grateful for the traumatic changes that happened to me, they forced action I NEVER would have taken otherwise, and I am happier than dreamed I would be.

Of course, I am working on my happiness everyday. You can't just sit and stew, you have to make your own solutions. I am doing all I can to rebuild a Tower with a strong and fresh foundation.


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